And the Oscar goes to…Wait, is Franco Stoned?

The 2011 Academy Awards, or “The Oscars”, as they are more colloquially known, wrapped up on Sunday evening, with “The King’s Speech” taking home top honors. Oh, and James Franco was COMPLETELY stoned the whole time.

It’s easy to bash the media. If you have to make an objective analysis about the quality of film entertainment out there, it’s easy to fall into the “Who the F*** green lit this piece of sh*t?” The “Academy”, however, is here to help. Call it pretentious self-aggrandizing by Hollywood, but it is refreshing to see intellectually and creatively stimulating work be put out, and be rewarded.

First and foremost, this just has to be said, James Franco (the co-host of this year’s show alongside Anne Hathaway), looked like he was stoned out of his mind the entire time, which is completely understandable, because there’s probably a ton of pressure in hosting the Oscars for the first time, whilst simultaneously being nominated for the “Best Actor” award

“The King’s Speech”, a film about some British dude with a stammer, pretty much swept the awards. The film’s climax is a speech. That says a lot about “The Academy”, and just how far they’ll go to make sure poignant, intellectually viable, and entertaining work goes recognized. A pregnant Natalie Portman took home the “Best Actress” Oscar for her role in “Black Swan”, and she deserves it for the lesbian sex scene alone. All kidding aside, Natalie was due for an Oscar as Matilda, the award is well deserved (we aren’t biased, promise).

Running down the list of the “Best Picture” nominees, which again, was won by “The King’s Speech”, we can’t help but notice it was a good year for movies. Here’s our own little mini-review of each film (at least the ones we saw).

127 Hours. Starring the host of this year’s Oscars, James Franco, was a story about visceral adventure man and survivalist, who, upon introduction to his own inevitable demise, has one of the most profound moments of inner reflection and self-analysis/actualization ever.

“Black Swan”. Didn’t see it, but Natalie Portman is in it, and has a lesbian sex scene with Mila Kunis.

“The Fighter”. What a show this was. Christian Bale completely stole the show in this movie, and it was awesome to watch a real-life rags to riches, work hard and get there, persevere and succeed story centered around some of the most entertaining real-life characters one could imagine.

“Inception”. I remember coming out of this movie and updating my Facebook status “Christopher Nolan is a fucking genius”. Apparently the “Academy” didn’t agree, but this movie was entertaining as all get out.

“The Kids Are All Right”. Didn’t see it.A film about a Lesbian couple with kids.
“The King’s Speech”.The big winner at the Oscars. Who doesn’t love stories about old British royalty and their proper etiquette and eloquent lexicon? What an articulate representation of her majesty’s father.

“The Social Network”. The kid is a 26 year old self-made billionaire, of course they’d make a film about him. Nobody ever thought, though, that the film would be so intellectually entertaining with a rapid fire dialogue that held you at the edge of your seat the whole time.

“Toy Story 3”. Didn’t even know this movie existed. Kudos, though, Toy Story was one of the better animated movies we remember from childhood.

“True Grit”. You want to see the best child actor of our generation? Watch True Grit. Amazing.

“Winter’s Bone”. Never saw it.

For a complete wrap-up of the Academy Awards, check out E online’s Oscar synopsis, and to check out the chicks in their sexy dresses, check out the red carpet fashion.

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